The Haps

I saw something in your eyes and I wanted it for myself

2007-12-22T10:01:00.001-08:00

Spence's Top Ten Albums of 2007
A VH1 special, airing now

1. Bloc Party - A Weekend In The City - Nothing on this earth speaks to me like Bloc Party. Bloc Party came to me when I first moved to Seattle and has fissured itself with who I am and how I operate. Not only does the music make extraordinary strides in experimentalism and musical adventurism, but the lyrics penned by Kele Okereke, truly take a stand and do not flinch at the crazy world we all experience. Especially, for those of us twenty-somethings trying earnestly to gather the mess about us and make it all right.

2. The Perishers - Victorious - I don't know about you, but I like mellowing out music. This band does that and much more. The sweet sounds coming from this simple foursome develop a landscape of hopefulness, tragedy and truth.

3. Interpol - Our Love To Admire - This album nearly relates to me as Bloc Party's "Weekend." Where it shines is it's hurtful, honesty that tells things straight. The soaring guitar and ominous vocals make for a great listen. Don't be frightened by song titles such as, "No I in Threesome" or "Rest My Chemistry." This album will keep your head nodding while driving, waiting to get out of your car and dance on the hood.

4. The Rosebuds - Night of the Furies - All I know about this duo is that they are amazing. This album jumped into my rotation early in the year after hearing it on KEXP and wanting to learn more. Both singers balance each other perfectly and the variation from 80's pop to 90's altern-rock make this album a joyride. I can't express how important it is for you to get to know this band. Marvelous work. The entire CD, from start to finish.

5. The Killers - Sam's Town - This album moved to the top of the list after hearing the song, "Read My Mind." The album is flawless. There is a cohesive sense of direction that The Killers hadn't had on previous material. I think the melodies are enchanting, despite not particularly being a fan of the lead singers 'over-the-top' crowing. Overall, a masterful piece of music.

6. Dave Gahan - Hourglass - I have always been a greater fan of the sum of Depeche Mode's parts, than their parts alone. This go around, however, is a little bit different. Dave perfectly masters what I think of my type of music. This music is the kind I enjoy hearing at any moment of the day, it's the type of music that I continue to try to perfect in my own pursuits as a musician. Electronic, raw, rock, alternative, raunchy synth. And yet the album starts off with the sweet songbird "Saw Something," which is the title of this blog (Thanks Dave). His ability to move around sounds and tap into his own weakness makes this album an enjoyable listen. Check out the bonus remixes for real electro-rock.

7. Editors - An End Has A Start - At first listen you think, hey what happened to Interpol? But after a second go around you realize this band means business. I just want to thank Coldplay, because so many better bands have surfaced after they made it cool to be big, emotional, crafty songsters. The album is tight from the start to the finish. For a disc that has so many hot songs, it was hard to ignore. Truly beautiful music mixing rough and rugged with heart wrenching.

8. Mika - Life In Cartoon Motion - You know this singer. You also know that you love him! This album is so wacky fun that it was on my ipod for a lot of the summer. Big Girls You Are Beautiful is a stand out, along with Billy Brown. This guy gets away with some wicked piano playing as well, which I am obviously appreciative of. A musician with talents that actually make many of us other wanna-be's feel bad about ourselves, but at the same time appreciate the fact that at least there is someone out there who can rock like this. Hot stuff.

9. Klaxons - Myths of the Near Future - Ok, Ok, I know...this album was not released in 2007. It is actually from '06. However, I only recently purchased this album and have found that I LOVE THEM! I like how they sound like Bloc Party but with a little more British Attitude. The music is solid and the foreplay between distorted guitars and electronica blends well. Who knows? With more time on my shuffle, this album could have ranked higher for the year.

10. Rihanna - Good Girl Gone Bad - Yes, this is the only album that doesn't mix with the others. But let me assure you, she plays nice. The thing about Rihanna, is that her melodies and tracks are too catchy to ignore. The smash singles that have come from this album prove the point. The other great thing about this album is that it mixes it up. She's hot, that's undeniable and her voice is sexy. I love to dance to her music and that means that she has got something that others didn't (sorry Britney).

HONORABLE MENTION: The honorable mention award for 2007 goes to Arcade Fire - Neon Bible. What can I say? Rocking Hippie Psychodelic rock. At first I had a hard time understanding the singer. But now that I've become accustomed to the soft vibrancy of his pipes, I really enjoy their music. The backdrop is the real victory here. Not to fond of the background singer. She mostly distracts from the rest for me. But all in all, love this album. This band knows how to take you on a journey from the onset.

The Wheels On The Bus

2007-11-29T21:53:00.001-08:00

you remember that song...'the wheels on the bus go round and round.' well, i've been thinking. it's time to get this old bus moving again.

i don't know if it's the sense that there are those of you out there in this electronic world that i really want to reconnect with or if i just need to get something off my chest. time will tell.

i suppose one reason i've stopped blogging is that i don't really feel as though i'm one of those people with a lot to say. i'll admit, sometimes, i find myself rather dashing and winning but those times are few and most other times i face my mediocrity. i guess that's one thing that i've never been able to escape. despite my earnest efforts to build new and tear down the rubble, i look in the mirror and see this savage wanderer. he looks a lot like me, but has something to say. mostly, 'huh?'

now before you start to think that i'm depressed, note what i'm saying. this feels like a renewal. a revival of who i am. i say average, you say toe-MA-toe. the greatest thing we can each do in this very day and age is simply, look ourselves in the mirror...and see what ME has to say.

that's extraordinary.

Bobby's 38th Annual Life Awards!

2007-05-24T10:12:00.001-07:00

http:spence-a-lick.blogspot.com is pleased to announce the 38th Birthday bash for Bobby G. Welch II this coming Saturday, May 26th, 2007. Everyone is invited to attend.

spence-a-lick.blogspot.com is the official fan website of Bobby G Welch, II. :)

Why Not Start At the Potty?

2006-11-05T11:23:00.000-08:00

I do believe the urinal is a crafty and intelligent invention. The convenience it offers for men is undeniable.

HOWEVER!

Lately, and when I say "lately" what I really mean is "over the past year or two," I have noticed a disturbing trend surrounding the use of this gold standard of relieving oneself.

For some reason, every where I go, whether it be Starbucks or the most elegant restaurant one can find, the urinals have a pool of pee at the base just right where one should be standing! Guys, what is up? Was there a recent revolt on the use of the urinal that I was not counted in on? All I know is that it is getting worse and worse. People just don't bother anymore. People seem to think that being considerate of the next urinal user is trite or trivial.

I say, "ENOUGH!" Men, learn to aim. Men, learn to keep the floor of this precious and ingenious invention clean and hazard free for the next chum who passes through. Men, learn that as you age, an extra dribble is normal, just let it fly where it belongs!

I believe we, as a collective male group, can make a difference in this world. Why not start at the potty?

Hall--o--spankin--ween

2006-10-29T21:11:00.000-08:00

I was not going to go out this year. I promised myself early on that I would not indulge in that kid holiday of treat worship and goofy costume show offs.

I couldn't resist.

My straight friend, otherwise known as my "SF" invited me to his party, stating that he would no longer be my friend if I ditched him again (kind of a gay thing to say, but hey, the world is blurry now-a-days). Anyway, I couldn't afford to lose my one and only social contact with the straight world and therefore, I prepared.

As I was getting ready this familiar feeling started to envelope me. It was similar to the feeling we get during Christmas, a fantastic holiday for a variety of reasons. Just to name a few: present worship, new clothes worship and new car worship are always much more enlightened states of faith than those damn little treat loathing children!

Anyways, as I was saying, I started to get the "spirit of Halloween" writhing throughout my body. After I stepped out of the shower, I stepped into the only make shift costume that I could. A teen punk rock star (that's all I could come up with in twenty minutes folks).

I went to the party, we met up with the Gays and all went dancing. I actually had a good time. I'm also somewhat ashamed to admit to the public that I had forgotten how much I truly enjoy Almond Joy.

Hittin' the showers

2006-10-29T21:03:00.000-08:00

Ok, Ok! I know how this is going to sound. But please, just hear it through. I have a problem. That problem is old men in the communal showers at the gym. YUCK! Ok, I am not one to have many problems with people. If an elderly gentleman wants to go to the gym and try and beef up his longevity in this world, I salute. However, it is not okay for two early 60's-late 60's men with big ol tubbies and a fake tan that looks worse than sprayed on silicone to be talking it up while I'm trying to get cleaned up. I mean, c'mon people. Why do people even talk in the shower anyway? It's like, move at warp speed Scottie!! None of this, 'Hey Fred, haven't seen you in a while, how's work going?' WHAT? I DON'T THINK SO!

Ok, so it's not the end of the world, fine. But the truth is, for some reason, the conversation while taking a communal shower has lost it's momentum. I think it lost it a long while ago, say 2 or 3 generations. There was a point in life where young men, like myself, realized the truth of the communal... "When hittin' the showers, Get In 'N Get Out!"

Just a thought...

2006-10-29T21:00:00.000-08:00

I just have to say what is happening right now, in this very fleeting moment of my life. I am sitting here catching up my stories and my two little puppies are nestled at my feet sleeping, looking like the ying and yang of puppiness cuddled together and happy. I too am happy, sipping from a magnificent glass of Pinot Noir that my most favorite Chris Lavoie has so generously gifted to me on his last visit. Here's to living the good life. Indeed it is.

Meet the relatives

2006-10-29T20:55:00.000-08:00

Like I said in the previous post, Bobby's family came into town to visit us. Then Doug E Fresh. The next week after that, my brother and sister-in-law came out to see us. It was a great time. I had been working 60 hours a week on a lot of different projects, a couple of which I am particularly proud of. So, long and short, I needed a break to rejuvenate.

I took a couple of days with Mark and Becky and I think all I need to do now is find a job for the two of them school teachers and we can get them to move on out. The thing that I like most about my brother and his wife are that they come from a very judgmental background (the Mormons) but are so normal and considerate. They really make us feel like part of the family.

I love my family by the way. What strikes me as most refreshing is the ease of conversation and the familiarity of our acquaintance. It's as though nothing has stopped, we've taken no pauses, we are ready to pick it up where we left off. That makes it really easy to enjoy ourselves and have a good time. Which naturally, we did. We didn't get the kiddos out to the dance club or the bar but every moment was worth it. Sometimes the bars aren't worth it anyway.

A House, A Home, A piece of Seattle

2006-10-29T20:37:00.000-08:00

Well, many of you know...Bobby and I bought a house in the hotspot neighborhood of Madrona, Seattle about a month ago. It was a roller coaster if you want to know the truth. Bob is in real estate (Mortgage Wholesale) and he knew what he was doing all along. However, to the untrained real estate newbie, it was torture to hear the back and forth of "our side" and the "other side" and the "middle men" and all the like. I just wanted to punch out the builder, slap the selling agent and then cry on a pillow. E - MO - TION - ALLLLL! But it all worked out. I was a mess and Bob was totally calm. He knew that things would work out. I, on the other hand, kept from working out by eating a lot of french fries and pizza.

We moved in mid-September and went right to work welcoming Bobby's sister and brother-in-law into town. They hadn't been to Seattle. They loved it. Like all ya do that come out to visit.

It's been a new experience for me, I have to say. Duh. But truly, I must say I am better for the challenge. A challenge it is! The puppies love the house. They think they are so bad ass. They walk around like they own the place and their other daddy spoils them so much that it's easy to know why!!

We have a few things here and there to consider. Our landscape project begins this Tuesday (HOLY CRAP!) and the final project should be pretty great. We have to paint and there are those other odds and ends that need tying up. Once through, this cute house on one of the greatest corners in Seattle will be just the fit we were looking for.

Bobby's sister and brother-in-law are not the only to visit thus far and they will certainly not be the last. Again, all are welcome here and all are invited, often! Hope to see many of you, if not all, soon.

Being Horrible

2006-10-29T20:34:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gentleman,
It's time to return to the stage. I can not believe I have not been keeping my loyal 1-3 blog readers happy with timely posts! How many blogs are there that say that?

So much to catch up on that I feel bad not devoting entire blogs to each. Therefore, I will be going back in time to pull out of the ol' magic hat a few of the highlights while giving them their very own spotlight.

Thanks for staying tuned.

Did you know...

2006-08-26T09:14:00.000-07:00

Did you know you can buy soaps buy the bulk at boutique soap shops?

Did you know that Monopoly and Risk come in a commemorative "vintage" collection only at Target? (Not Wal-Mart, sorry Chris!)

Did you know that Julia Stiles totally sucks ass (please reference Alegna's Blog)?

Did you know that Washington State has more water front property than Texas?

Did you know Cher is dead to me? I think she needs to fall off this planet already.

Did you know that I we are still waiting for the appraisal on our house?

Did you know mushrooms come in all sorts and sizes?

Did you know that Potato Bars are the funnest thing you can do, sometimes?

Did you know that Doug Birch likes to eat Moons Over My Hammy from Denny's (reference previous post)? Sounds yummy, wait I'll be back, I'm heading to Denny's.

Did you know that I have the coolest blog friends?

Did you know that saying, "mucho culo" in Spanish does not mean, "Much Coolness" in english?

Did you know that I have a giant wart on my face now (reference drawing)?

Did you also know that I have a new Ultra Fab Mullet going on (please reference drawing again)?

HEHE.

Commemorative or just plain lazy?

2006-08-26T08:40:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official...Almost. I have a Washington State Drivers License and paid the hard earned cash to have my car licensed as well. It's official, right? Not quite. I replaced my Utah plate yesterday, but only on the rear of the vehicle. I have yet to change the front plate. Maybe I have a piece of me that is left in Utah, that wants to leave one toe in, straddling the fence.

Or maybe I'm just plain lazy. Yeah, that makes more sense. No offense friends of Utah.

The True and Real and Not Fake Top Ten Reasons I Love Doug Birch

2006-08-05T08:40:00.000-07:00

Number TEN: Only Doug can be my partner in crime driving across states lines in scarves. And yell at a lesbian gas attendant, telling her she is fat.

Number NINE: Doug has a real personal sense of style. You never see him walk into a Gap, or Abercrombie or any of those stores. He gets all his clothes made just for him by the designers at Burberry, or at least the crack addicts on Alaska Ave who sell fake Burberry, either way, it's HOT.

Number EIGHT: Doug Birch has this wacky sense of humor that only I get. That's the eighth reason, and hell, it's not fake. Run up in the sky so deep, he be cryin'. Like this one time, we were talking about Shelly on South Park and then he said, "Shuper Schweet." That was hilarious.

Number SEVEN: Doug really knows how to make his friends feel real good about themselves...like that one time he told me he loved my mom's '80s vintage mini-skirt and then told Chad behind my back that he hated that "F-ing" skirt. He made me feel good, even though he didn't truly care for it.

Number SIX: If ever I need a run to Alberto's on Fifth South in Salt Lake City, he is happy to go...and he'll usually be the first one in the car!

Number FIVE: Without Doug, I would have less personal time, because now, he RARELY calls me anyway. Such a sweetie. :)

Number FOUR: When I told Doug that I had ringworm, he was able to get me my medication in like 5 seconds. I mean, he really knew what my problem was before I even told him, or something. That's a real friend.

Number THREE: If I ever got into a bar fight he was always the first person to call Taquifa and She-nay-nay for some straight razors and vasoline. Like this one time some strange boy stuck a thumb up my butt on the dance floor. He was all over that bitch.

Number TWO: He saw Dead People. Like that one time he saw a little Latin boy in drag. Or like that one time he saw Haley Joel Osmont in that one movie by that M. Night Shamaylaian, or whatever his name is.

Number ONE: Doug has this saying, "We'll get you to your ho and back lickity-split. You'll be covered like a jimmy-hat." Doug really does cover me like a jimmy hat. I can be a real dick sometimes. Pun Intended. He just always knows how to be there and protect me from anything nasty in this world. He is such a true friend. Thanks buddy.

Now if any of you don't seem to see through the sarcasm and cleverness of this blog. You're just not a real friend. Because I know Doug will.

Potty Training

2006-07-15T11:35:00.000-07:00

Potty Training two puppies at once may be the most difficult task of my life thus far. Ok, I know that's a little bit of an overstatement, but seriously, these dogs are just too much. Smudge is the little angel who does everything right. He poops and pees in his little port o' potty and walks with the leash just fine. Here's an example of the port o' potty. Spanky, on the other hand, is true to his name and personality and just doesn't give a flip. Someday, he'll get it. Positive Thinking.

I can only hope I wasn't this difficult to train when I was just a pup.

...

2006-07-09T22:22:00.000-07:00

I guess there's just the one reason. Loves.

The Top Ten Reasons I Love Doug Birch

2006-07-09T22:19:00.000-07:00

1. He finally posted something new on his blog, thus replacing the somewhat distorted, "did-he-use-photoshop-to-create-that" picture of me eating Jack in the Box.

Buy the Catalog Bitch

2006-07-01T08:02:00.000-07:00

Ok, so this past weekend (I'm finally getting around to writing about it) was Gay Pride Seattle. Kris Duffield and Becka made it out from Salt Lake City and we had the usual friends along for a couple of really fun nights. I am going to recount one incident on one very fun Friday night that deserves mentioning.

We left the apartment after a few martinis heading to one of everyone else's favorite bars "Purr." (I have recently decided I don't like that bar much anymore because it has hardly any lighting and people aren't very easy to talk to).

Five of us piled into a taxi cab heading up the hill to the bar. Bob was in the front seat and in a mood. If you know Bob, you know the mood to which I am referring. The taxi cab driver made an interesting choice in route as we headed toward Pike's Market. We were literally stopped at one of the busiest intersections in downtown Seattle when Bob noticed a man making some last minute adjustments on his appearance. Now, first let me say this man was looking rather odd coifing his hair in the dirty glass window of a second hand pipe and cigar shop. However, Bob feels a need to make a point of it saying, "Honey, you loooook Fabulous!"

Four heads in the backseat of the taxi immediately dropped to the floor. I think we were hiding from potential retaliation. It was an impulse for sure. Better yet, the man retaliated with a very different impulse than any of us had expected. In a wit to one-up my cunning and oftentimes very funny boyfriend, the vagrant said without missing a beat, "Buy the Catalog Bitch!" and continued to groom himself.

A hit! The entire night we could not stop laughing and coming up with ways to talk about the man with the come back of the year. In our party state we came up with the title of the catalog and it's tag line:

"STREET PEEPZ: WEAR IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!"

The pups

2006-07-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

Puppy Hunt

2006-06-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

We are on the hunt for a new puppy (or 2)! Our favorite breed thus far is the Irish Jack Russell Terrier. Here is our top pick, Smudge...

Now we just need to finalize this whole thing...these puppies are too cute, as I am sure you all agree.

Sunrise

2006-06-13T19:02:00.000-07:00

I may be moving to Seattle -
people say that's nuts b/c of the weather - the rain
the clouds -
Today I feel a sunrise.
Today I know the best is yet to come -
Today I see futures worthwhile & fulfilling & stimulating -

THANK GOD FOR DECAF @ 9 P.M.!

It's like having a sunrise in the evening.
I feel confident, directed and motivated.
I know passion & truth & love.
I see clouds dispersing and sun rays showering
all my days.

Post Up

2006-06-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

In basketball they have a move that is referred to as the 'post up.' This is generally when a taller player such as a center or forward backs into their opponent and wails their hands in the air with their backs to the basket. The idea is to get your hands on the ball with good footing so you can do a 'post move' and get a good look at the basket for a score. Think Shaq.

That was my life a couple of weeks ago until the Harbor Steps Basketball League ended. I would post up really short guys and still not score as often as I should have. However, I was proud of myself because I made an attempt to do something that I was interested in that did not involve my hubby. For those of you who know Bobby, you know basketball is virtually a foreign language to him. I am very happy finding autonomous opportunities for myself that peak my personal interests. I am now currently pursuing naked ultimate Frisbee. I'll let you know how that goes.

All that aside, I am taking a break from work. It's nearly seven at night. A break? Yes, life is getting like that. I've gained twenty pounds, rarely make the gym consecutive days in a row and have aches in my back that I never had growing up. I think I'm a hypochondriac sometimes. I thought I had testicular cancer this morning, tomorrow it'll be mono. The testicular cancer can be attributed to tightie whities which must be replaced for boxer briefs and the mono has something to do with how stressed I feel during the work week.

Anyway...to the point. I am soaking up the environment of a predictable Starbucks coffee in the Barnes and Nobles near my work. It reminds me of Fresno. I would go there often and read and write poetry over last summer. I wrote a poem that means a whole bunch to me there. I will have to post it. But I realize that I love "iced americanos with toffee nut and room." I also realize that I am still a sucker for good advertising. That's why I didn't hesitate an instant to purchase the 'gay times' magazine with this extremely attractive and shirtless "person" sitting back with his muddy cleats draping the soccer ball and the tag line reads, "on the ball." Um, yes siree.

I think I know what some of you are thinking. Where has Spencer gone? What has he turned into? He drinks coffee and reads the 'Gay Times' (it's from England, by the way). Well I think all this culminates in the point. I am just doing what I would do in basketball all those years growing up. I'm posting up, looking for my chance to score. And not in the dirty way. I am refueling, refreshing, gathering my thoughts, clearing the air and being. I never used to think that I could be me. I used to think I had to be who I wasn't and that was so darn hard. I guess I'm just very happy to be at a point in my life where I don't have to think about how to be, I just can. And these days it feels like I'm getting my hands on the ball and getting really good looks at the basket. :)

The security of discrete photography

2006-05-02T19:10:00.000-07:00

Yes. Doug indeed returned the illest payback.

True, I am now on cyberspace pigging out in my suit at a Jack N the Box.

Chris even said that Dougie looked cuter than I did, which though it is true, still somehow hurts the feelings.

I guess calling up the ol' chap and mending photography-war fences could help alleviate my pains. Or...

I could just toss another shutter-fly nuke on the pile.
Kisses right back atchya babe!

P.s. My grandma would like her showercap back any time now.
XoXo

The news

2006-04-24T19:44:00.000-07:00

Seattle is warming up and the sun is on! People are wearing shorts and tank tops, though I don't think that in other climates this is a common behavior. Take Florida for instance. My sister thinks it is winter if the thermometer reaches 60 degrees. Nothing but endless blue skies these days. Loving it! And how cool is getting home from work at 7.30pm and still having tons of sun left to enjoy?

The job is heating up as well. I really enjoy where I work. Last week I totally realized I made the right decision as far as the job hunt went. I am learning new things everyday mostly how to deal with people. That is a skill that I welcome. Challenges come my way. It is really rewarding to take a second and think outside my own train of thought and try and understand where other people are coming from. Lord knows I need the help and maybe all of this is meant to facilitate that.

Bobby is swell and I think he has fallen in love with his new home just like I have. We are both pretty lucky to be out having a blast of it and enjoying our new city as much as we do. Lots of stress from work for the both of us, but we seem to keep it pretty well managed. My Mom even called today and asked if we were going to break free for just a few moments to attend the family reunion this summer. Very kind of her.

I can't believe Todd Price has moved to Atlanta. Still, though I had already moved, I feel like we are so far away. And, to be quite honest, I am pretty sad. I love that guy!

I guess in other sad news...I twisted my ankle playing basketball last week. Fortunately it wasn't a sprain and we are still undefeated. Looking to become the Harbor Steps champions! However, I may need to get an MRI for my knee. Symptoms are showing signs of a possible ACL surgery in the future.

Well it's off to the patio with a white to soak up the sunset over the Puget Sound. Ahhhh, marvelous.

Simple Carbohydrates

2006-04-09T23:19:00.000-07:00

They said that carbs were so bad for you. You know? Years have passed and carbohydrates aren't the evil lil' devils they were made out to be. But every now and then you'll hear, "there's a big difference between simple and complex carbs!"

I'd like to take a moment and examine the importance of both simple and complex things in life that can take us (or me) for a spin.

I learned this weekend that I much more enjoy playing the piano in place of hooking up my computer through midi cable patches and super sound card stations. The joy of playing a new ditty was washed away when I tried to get all "techno on it's ass" and record my song through a midi interface. Simple vs. Complex and complex got the best of me.

There's this friend of mine (hehe). This friend always finds the quickest solution to any dilemma he/she faces. Instantaneously, whether the connection is real or just a figment of the imagination he/she just goes with it. This friend started assuming he was no good, no longer "hot stuff," no longer necessary, no longer influential. That was the simple way out. And he sat all afternoon expanding on this simple notion. Rather than investing a little more time in the correct, be it complex, solution to his problem, he chose the simple way out. Simple vs. Complex and simple got the best of him.

So, here I try. Simple things in life are most often sweet when they involve the gracious art of a brushstroke or feverish tickle of the old ivories. And more often than not, the complex in life can be the answer to many a thought provoking strife.

Apparently I turn into Gandhi around midnight on a Sunday night.

And the world didn't end.

2006-03-20T00:28:00.000-08:00

I find myself laughing inside a lot. For those of you who know me, I tend to have a fluctuating sense of humor. One moment, I'm the most outgoing person in the room...the next, I'm the introvert left to his own musings. Lately, I've tended to keep a lot inside. I think I have started to realize that my humor isn't as funny to others as it is when my brain first thinks it up for me. Hence, the inner laughter. I'm not shy, just cautious. Then, not so cautious. I guess I'm sort of an anomaly that way.

Be that as it may...I am back. Maybe for a brief fleeting moment, maybe for an extended stay. As my homies back in the FRES-YES would say, "it's all about the chuckles baby."

All this and the world didn't end. I have returned.

Xmas with Xzibit

2005-12-26T22:51:00.000-08:00

So, this year was a new experience. We had our new friend, rapper "Xzibit" visit us for Xmas. He bought a home in Washington a few months ago and Bob helped him with his loan.

Ok...all lies.

However, this holiday has been a fun one. We've been surrounded by a beautiful tree, thanks to my mom, who flew out here last minute to help us get ready for some important work parties. Both for Bob and myself.

I know, many of my readers, hehe, have wondered where I have been as of late. As luck had it and as the previous paragraph implies, I am employed. It took a mere two months and I had two job offers with two different companies. I elected to work with a non-profit organization that focuses on helping the Hispanic community in Washington. The organization has one nursing home, which happens to be in a neighborhood of Seattle called "South Park." It's been a busy couple of weeks, and for that I have been out of the blogging world.

The holidays are great. Especially watching Bob grab the Ben and Jerry's at 11 pm at night and dive into the bedroom, thinking I didn't see him. It's a real kick in the pants. That was my pint!!!

I feel really good to be here in Seattle. We've loved the environment, the new jobs, and the time to get to know a new place. Missing each of you and hoping your holiday season has been "X to the Z" like ours has.

92 cents and a biscuit

2005-11-18T11:31:00.000-08:00

Since when did Denny's become the hopping new sit down eatery. I was in the midst of furniture delivery men, movers and rental furniture picker-uppers yesterday, but I have to admit it...I was seriously craving a "Moons Over My Hammy." Don't laugh! You all know you love that sandwich. Kind of like Dougie-Fresh in this photograph.

Anyway, I followed a pair of carpet munchers into the Denny's assuming one of our groups would be greeted and invited to sit down. Not so, that damn Denny's was so busy! The hostess was making the coffee, frying the bacon and serving the tater tots. After five minutes of torture I had to leave. The movers were showing up in a matter of minutes and I could not be late.

I opted for Taco Bell. In this case, it was a Taco Bell/KFC. I paid for my items, was given 14 dollars in bills, but the young man behind the counter asked me to wait as he got some quarters out of the back to return the 92 cents he owed me. I was in a rush and therefore simply asked him to add on one of those buttery biscuits that I had been secretly devouring in my mind the moment I walked through the door. He obliged but then proceeded to ask me for a dollar to pay him the 59 cents that the biscuit would cost me. I kindly looked at the 16 year old ginger kid and explained to him that he was in the hole to me 92 cents and he could just take that out of what he owed. He looked perplex, started pushing buttons on that machine that we all know resembles a playtime cash machine, and asked if I could wait a few seconds. He returned from what I am calling a "Pow-wow with the shift manager" and gave me 33 cents.

I know working fast food is hard. I worked at Taco Bell for a day once. And my shift manager made me believe that making a taco is like numbchucking your way through the Great Wall. But, seriously folks...it's basic addition and subtraction. Don't you think the kids at the Taco Bell should at least be screened for that skill if they are going to be taking our money?

Who said you were a model?

2005-11-10T18:34:00.000-08:00

A couple times in my life, people have said, "you should be a model!" Normally they say it in an exciting way that makes me believe it. I never heard anyone say, "You shouldn't be a model!" Tonight, I think I have proven those kind-hearted individuals, who made me feel so stylish and handsome, entirely wrong. I got home after a great new haircut, feeling, well...handsome and stylish!

I thought it might be fun, while the hubby was away, to take some snap shots and get all cool looking. I guess I understand why modeling shoots can take like entire days. Coz some shoots just aren't up to par. Please observe as I ask the question of myself, "Who said you were a model?"

In my defense, there really was one shot that looked semi decent. But, I promise...this was a one in a hundred shot.

In conclusion, I think it's important to say what we all know in our hearts. Everyone of us is beautiful. We each have our own special style and look that is flawless. We all need to take a look at that beauty more often and thank god for it. So, if there are any poor quality shots like the first I demonstrated, know in our hearts, it's not the model, but the photographer! Now, in my case that was me, putting me in a bit of a pickle.

And the Leash...

2005-11-04T18:22:00.000-08:00

How many lesbians does it take to get me to party like I'm Prince? One.

2005-10-30T22:35:00.000-08:00

Can we say Kris Duffield? She had made a trip up for my honey's Northwest Manager's meeting and chose to stay for the weekend. It's Sunday night, and I think I have just begun the road to recovery. We were out so much this weekend it was crazy. We learned so many new things about my hometown.

#1. There is only one lesbian bar in Seattle and it's called, "Wild Rose."
#2. If you think the bar named, "Thumpers" is a lesbian bar, you are mistaken. Just like I was.
#3. If you believe that a straight restaurant like the "Fox Sports Zone" serves stiffer drinks than the hip new joint "The Apartment" in Belletown, you wouldn't only be mistaken, but most definitely a moron.

And Finally,
#4. If you think someone calls you pretentious, you have to stand up for yourself. Even if that entails you being wrong, again.

Welcome to 1999 and thank you Kris!

Ears? Take Care of Them. Kids? How about a leash?

2005-10-24T23:35:00.000-07:00

You know swimmer's ear? I hate that. It is one of the most frightening experiences. What if your ear gets clogged forever and no more hearing? Yikes.

What about not-so-fresh sushi? Yup, don't like that either.

How about seeing the same kids from the carting machine being "walked" around on leashes that wrap around their waists, six at a time? Priceless.

I saw the headquarters for this day care. It's right up the street from our apartment. I had a few errands to run and saw this class of toddlers walking outside with this type of apparatus. I can not believe that people find that acceptable! I tried to get a picture for you all, but unfortunately, was not able.

How to effortlessly transport 12 infant children

2005-10-22T10:41:00.000-07:00

I was outside my apartment complex yesterday after running a few errands and I happened across one of the strangest sights I have ever seen. Please observe:

Now I don't know if I am appalled or simply wow-ed by the sensibility of the child crating carts. It's almost like eggs. You simply put as many in a Styrofoam container as you can and move them out. Here, we load up as many infant children as possible and ship them out to whatever location suits us.

"Any field trip ideas?" asks the teacher. "Downtown Seattle!" blurts the extremely vocal 2 year olds.

Hey, whatever works. As long as they don't take them to some boot camp or church office for confession right?

Crazy people live in Seattle too

2005-10-21T12:01:00.000-07:00

I may have assumed that Seattle was completely different from Salt Lake City. I was wrong. They have crazy people here too. Actually, from the responses of friends, it appears there may be more in Seattle than most places.

For Example. I was running to the drug store the other day to purchase some batteries, s video cables, a frappacino and some deodorant. I was waiting in line with my items and the lady in front of me turned a full 180 degrees and started looking at my items. She said, "oooh, let me take a look at your goodies!" while she touched my items.

She was harmless enough, I thought. The line moved forward, she turned around and I went back to my 'normality' of pretending that said experience just didn't happen.

About ten seconds later she had turned back around, looked me straight in the eye and asked my opinion of some necklaces for sale in the checkout line. She said she couldn't decide which were prettier. The jack-o-lantern necklaces or the faux diamond bracelets. She asked for my opinion. Ok, this lady was nuts. The necklaces were atrocious. Even though she had junk in her hair from the can she had been sleeping in the night before, my good nature would not allow her to make such a fashion no-no in my presence. I said, "I would go with the bracelets, they are prettier, but not by much. Actually, I'd choose neither."

She took a step back (Thank God- I was about to get dirty just standing so close) and then she actually shook like a chill had run throughout her body. I figured this was the spirit of good fashion sense and returned to my 'normality,' pretending none of this had happened.

I was rudely reminded that it was not over as I put my items down to purchase. She felt so close to me after my helpful advice that it was her desire to monitor each item as it was scanned, bagged and money exchanged. I was feeling uneasy and muttered, "nice meeting you...gotta go out there now." How lame. The craziness had somehow become airborne and I caught it.

'Out there' could have been anything...a shower, a box on the corner, an institution. I didn't know. Fortunately I came to my senses, drank my purchased frappaciono and realized I was in Seattle and safe. If it weren't for that Frappacino I may not have made it out alive.

Job Hunting, Interviews and Creme Brulee Lattes

2005-10-14T11:04:00.000-07:00

So, life has started to slow down. After Doug returned to Salt Lake I got on the phone and started my hunt for a job. I am proud to say that a lot of good has come from my efforts, with interviews, follow up interviews, etc... I am meeting with a potential employer for a second time this coming Monday. I feel pretty lucky to have the time that I do. I'll be honest, sometimes it's fun to do some searching or networking while I am sitting at the Seattle's Best on Post Alley right up from Pikes Market. The Creme Brulee Lattes are my seasonal beverage of choice.

Today marks three weeks in Seattle. Except of course for the weekend I had to fly back to Salt Lake to meet Bob and learn that our movers were delayed for the third straight time. I'll tell ya, yelling at movers helps, but unfortunately it doesn't get your stuff picked up any sooner. I never want to move again. Good luck with that, I know.

We have settled into a nice ritual that Bob and I like to call "dinner." I usually have the time to come up with something to eat when Bob gets back from work. The market is two blocks north and I pick up fresh veggies every other day. The sites and sounds of Seattle are soothing, even when I am unaware of where my next paycheck is coming from. I don't foresee a problem; I have convinced myself I will be working within a month. And considering the responses I've had, that seems more and more likely. Thank goodness for hard work and supportive companionship.

Speaking of hard work, martinis are a lot of fun. I realized this past weekend how much we both enjoy making them. So, I suppose if this whole Nursing Administration gig doesn't pan out, I could always work nights at the Split Olive.

"Done and Done." - Ben Dolezal

2005-10-12T14:00:00.000-07:00

Chapter Eight.
We arrived in Seattle. Our eyes were wide open. The scenery was amazing, the skyline breathtaking. I was reunited with Bobby, who made plans to take us all to dinner at the fabulous Wild Ginger. After a quick shower, an outfit change and a few snapshots we were off and up out! It was a fun night! The restaurants in downtown Seattle are top-notch and the dancing isn't all that bad either. For more on dancing, see Dougie Fresh's interpretation of our night out on the town here. He is now a Seattle veteran and has always been a foremost expert in dancing at the club.

And that evening, as we returned to our new home, the journey westward ended. There are memories of laughter, some fright, and a whole lotta of adventure! Thanks to Doug for his help with everything, from furniture to hotel reservations. We certainly did not miss any points of interest worth seeing! And, I couldn't have left Salt Lake in a more memorable way.

And get that screaming baby away from my car!

2005-10-11T12:38:00.000-07:00

Chapter Seven.
In everyone's life there comes a time to get down to business. A time, when you need to just get things done and get somewhere. Doug and I reached this point on our final stretch of highway through Snoqualmie Pass. I don't think either of us could express how extremely beautiful the changing leaves of fall were. Flashes of orange, red and yellow mixed with the ever-long vastness of the green fir trees. Magnificent.

Slightly less magnificent was the final potty stop and snack pick up. Doug and I both decided we'd take one last pit stop before coming down the pass and pulling into the city of Seattle. Little did I know that as I left the mini-mart, a two year old child with ice cream would be fussing about, crying and shouting at his parents. This ice cream was not going to bother me. I mean hell, we'd killed so many a bug by driving at freeway speeds, a little mess on the door would be easy to wash off. But I'll be damned if those hick-a-billy parents of his did not swing the 7 foot door from their 1963 Impala wide open, nearly scratching and poking my newly purchased Audi! As Doug held me back from attacking the greasy-tank-topped-tubby, I shouted, "watch what you're doing...and get that screaming baby away from my car!"

Now that, ladies and gentleman, is getting things done!

Ho Ho Hogue...I'm sorry officer!

2005-10-09T22:49:00.000-07:00

Chapter Six.
We made it out of Union and into Washington that morning. We had a few hiccups on the way (rental furniture, etc...) but I didn't let that get to me...did I Doug? Dougie Fresh was napping in the passenger seat after we crossed into Washington state. I noticed an emblem that looked familiar as we were driving. I changed lanes and realized it was actually an emblem for one of the wineries that a good friend of mine had introduced me to a year ago.
I veered onto the off ramp, Doug woke up and we got schooled in the art of wine making. Hooray for Reisling. Well, we had a great time. An exciting time even. But not as "exciting" as when I was pulled over by my first ever Washington State Highway Patrol Man. Let me just say one thing. Quickly retrieving your license and registration, even before the officer arrives, only helps. Wink Wink!

A note - intermission, if you will...

2005-10-06T15:44:00.000-07:00

Just a note. I feel a little bad that I haven't given updates on "The Haps" here in Seattle and I've lived here two weeks now. But let me just say...after a long day of dealing with movers, sending off resumes, talking with potential employers and such, it is nice to be at home, make some excellent nachos and sit down to an episode of Desperate Housewives. Thank you. We will now continue with our original programming featuring Doug Birch.

Staying The Night - The Hotel part 2

2005-10-06T14:01:00.000-07:00

Chapter Five.
We drove into the town of Union, Oregon at approximately 8pm. We were an hour ahead of schedule (that darn time zone change). We got out of the car and saw this...
...at night! Not just a little spooky, but creepy. They even had 6 R.V. hookups behind the mansion! Now that's crazy!

We decided to walk up and just get it over with. It turned into a scene out of Haunted Mansion. Large Entry way with original 1920 tile work, a parlor, and the scent of cookies! I somehow convinced Doug this would be alright. However, we ended up sleeping in these beds with picket fences as headboards, flies falling on Doug in the shower, and two ghosts that shared some wine and their sense of adventure with us. These "ghosts" will be explained shortly.

They wanted to go exploring. I was up for it and Doug reluctantly gave in. They took us to the third floor of the mansion, which was never finished during the remodel. We saw two doors that were steel construction and had a single circular window. These doors also had a contraption that looked very medieval. We concluded these doors where a psych ward or punishment chamber of sorts. Ok, ghost people, a Hannibal lector chamber and bad wine...needless to say, neither of us slept well that night. But the crazy part of the story just begins.

We bolted out of town and realized I had left my wallet in the room. Thankfully we hadn't gotten very far, we turned back into the town of Union. As we approached the first street, Doug noticed it was named "Ash." The second, "Birch" and the third, sure enough, "Chestnut." As we got to the Union Hotel, we learned it resided on the corner of Main Street and "Elm" Street. We are convinced to this day we slept the night in a ghost town near central Oregon that just so happens to have the same street names as my grandparents cemetery. Coincidence or paranormal?

Staying The Night - The Hotel part 1

2005-10-06T13:28:00.000-07:00

Chapter Four.
Ok. So we were cruising along from Baker City trying to make our way to Le Grande, Oregon. We had heard of a bed and breakfast there that would have comfortable beds and a great breakfast. We called a little too late. They were booked. Dougie Fresh was on the phone with them asking for a comparable hotel that they thought we would consider "fabulous." They eagerly suggested the Union Hotel, fifteen minutes out of Le Grande. We phoned them up. They discussed with Doug the options and the Garden room sounded just right. Two queen size beds and charming decor. Should we have been concerned when they mentioned they may not be at the office when we arrived, and would simply leave a key for us in an envelope? We didn't question and put the address in the Navigation System and headed off for Union.

The navigation system took us off the main highway and into a dark road with no lights whatsoever. We were in coyote country I could tell. Fortunately the road was paved, but still, with no lights and coyotes atop the rolling hills, it just felt a little off. We almost turned around and stuck it out at the Motel 6 off the freeway. But no, we were determined to find this diamond in the rough and headed onward.

The Spoooooky Graveyard

2005-09-29T13:37:00.000-07:00

Chapter Three.
One of my goals on the drive out to Seattle was to connect with some of my family history. My father grew up in Oregon and along the I84 there are a lot of locations where he lived. I have always felt drawn toward my father's family history and have always wanted to make it out westward to experience. The move to Seattle has become a special way of fulfilling that.

One of my goals was to visit my Grandfather's grave in Baker City, Oregon. I never met him, he passed away at a very early age, but I have loved the stories my Dad has recounted over the years. He was a hard worker. He was determined and often built things of his own design, such as homes and church houses.

We made it into Baker City around 7pm. The city is in a valley and surrounded by mountains, so it was getting quite dark. A kind man at the Kwik-and-Go informed me of how to arrive at the cemetery. Let me tell ya, it was in that one part of town where nothing is. Doug and I drove up to the gates and it was dusk. We couldn't see. There were many graves and I knew we wouldn't be able to get out and look at all of them. Needless to say, neither of us wanted to really get out of the car, it was a little scary. What made it even more scary was the names of the "streets" inside the graveyard. The first was "Ash" and the second was "Birch." Now that is Doug's last name, so we were both a little weirded out. "Chestnut" followed by "Delta" followed by "Elm." At this point we started to get a little frightened. "Nightmare on Elm Street." Ring any bells? We were trying to call my parents for a clue as to where the headstone might be. The phones were crackling, I accidentally revved the engine while in park. It was all too campy. It honestly felt like a teenage horror movie. At any second we knew some creepy ghoul zombie was going to pop up out of nowhere and attack us.
We made it out safe and took some time at the front of the gate to take pictures and such. All and all it was fun, but I still would love to make it back and pay my respects to my grandfather...in the daylight.

The legend of the Pink Taco

2005-09-28T09:37:00.000-07:00

Chapter Two.
The belly was a rumblin' down around about Boise, Idaho. It's important to note that Boise is on the verge of becoming the next cosmopolitan city. It felt a lot like Cherry Creek in Littleton, Colorado with the vastness of Denver. We stopped in at this Mexican restaurant called "Ole!" We walked through the Saloon style doors and were greeted with "dining tonight or happy hour?" Doug and I looked at each other and proclaimed in unison, "Happy Hour!" Our server was really cool and she offered us a "pink taco." A little disgusted, Doug asked what the contents were. We were hooked and let me say, the food was amazing. I suggest the Jose ranchero cream sauce on all items, with a side of the jalepeno jelly. After "dining" we were back on the road. But not in style, as we were in traffic. Apparently some trashed out white woman ran her truck off the side of the road into a pumpkin patch stalling both lanes of traffic for Boisians who wanted to see the devastation. A city on the verge yes, but apparently you can't take the po-dunk off the freeway.

Scarves across State Lines

2005-09-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

Chapter One.
Doug and I made it into Wedahomeys (Idaho) without any incidents or problems. We had no reason to believe there would be trouble awaiting us at the Stinker gas-and-go. Doug posed for a couple glamour shots before the big entrance in. But when I caught eye of the slightly overweight wanna-be-nubian-princess behind the counter, I could tell something was going to go down. We grabbed our pistols and dove behind some tator skins while she was blastin at us with her 12 gauge. Wait, that's not how it happened. Actually, she was just really bitchy to Doug, who was cordial enough to ask her about her weave. Turns out it was horse extensions and that bothered her. We grabbed our bevs and headed out.

Salt Lake to Seattle - A blog featuring Doug Birch

2005-09-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen those campy teenage horror movies? The movie where the kids are walking into an old mansion or taking a road trip into corn field territory. You know the type, right? Every time I see those movies I catch myself sayin, "kid, don't go in that door, you know it's not a good idea...just move on." The kid never listens.

The next few blogs will episode the adventure that Dougie Fresh and I took westward from Salt Lake City to Seattle, Washington. Each chapter is an adventure in itself!

You can take your burrito back Paco! - How to throw burritos at Taco Bell employees.

2005-09-20T11:11:00.000-07:00

Two things that irritate me. Pet peeves, if you will...

Numero Uno - when you buy a new CD and you finally get the "government plastic" ripped off only to find that darn sticker on the top, bottom, and side of the disc. Impossible to remove and never a pretty sight when opened, because you are bound to have some sticky residue left over somewhere.

Ok, #2. I hate and will no longer patronize establishments that do not use debit cards as a form of payment. Ok, actually, what's worse...when the establishment charges you a "nominal" fee for using your debit card! I was in the Taco Bell drive-thru in Fresno a couple of weeks ago. I handed my debit card to the 16 year old drive-thru communications specialist. He informed me that my card would be charged an additional 99cents. I looked at him, asked him to acknowledge the fact that the burrito I ordered was a mere 89 cents. Was it so necessary to gouge me for a single burrito? Without hesitation I threw the burrito back in his direction and burned some rubber.

Can I get a side of tape with that?

2005-09-19T22:45:00.000-07:00

Yes, you all must know by now...we are in that stage...the stage of PACKING!!! The last couple of days have been a blur. We had an amazing barbecue at the Hardebecks! Thanks so much guys! And tonight it was nice to see a couple of friends stop in as we packed away. We're close to done, but no sighs of relief just yet. The car has to be shipped and the bedroom furniture will need to be picked up. Apparently every last person in my immediate family is sick with the flu (Ok, just two) but I am grateful it's not me. Packing and the flu simultaneously = lousy. I can't explain to you how much fun it is though. It is a lot of hard work, but the two of us are really excited to start the adventure that will be Seattle. It'll be a new home. A home where everyone is welcome.

The Value of Sincerity (w/ Uck Fups)

2005-09-16T09:25:00.000-07:00

Laughter may be the best medicine, but sincerity can help dissipate uck fups. I make many a uck fup; but not all turn out to be a learning experience. I wish I were able to see things in a clearer light, take time to be patient and acknowledge my faults regularly. Let me tell ya, it's a real joy when you learn that your uck fup was never an uck fup at all. In reality it was just a flounder inside your imagination; swimming deeper and deeper until sincerity nabs it by its hook and gets rid of it. I am thankful for people in my life who attempt sincerity. 'Coz I need many a positive role model. Thanks guys.

When you have kids

2005-09-15T20:58:00.000-07:00

I really love kids. They can be fun. For instance, tonight I had one of my little pals over. I used to work with kids and he is the cutest thing on the planet. We were going to go camping initially. Then it turned into a hotel visit. Then all that mattered was that there be a swimming pool. It was way fun to see him laugh at the man swimming laps in the pool. But, he wore me out. I felt very tired by seven thirty. Geesh.

When friends drink Rum with Beer

2005-09-15T14:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have this friend, who will go unnamed for the time being. He invited me over last night for some talk and a cocktail. I arrived a few minutes late. He answered the door looking lavish in a tan neck scarf and some fabulous Jackie O sunglasses. It was 10.30. We sat and talked and he offered me a drink. He had some rum, but the only mixers he had were, "water, gatorade, and beer." I peered into the fridge and he was not joking. I chose the gatorade. He chose the beer. We sat and talked for hours. It seemed like minutes by the time I left. Good friend. But I can't say I wasn't all too surprised when he called me this morning, too sick to work. I guess a real friend wouldn't let friends drink their rum and beer at the same time.

Home...for two weeks anyway

2005-09-10T17:07:00.000-07:00

I am back in Salt Lake City from my nine week adventure in Fresno. Work was great and a very worthwhile experience for me that I believe will pay off in the years to come. Thank goodness. Bobby and I had a great farewell party thrown for us last night at "Gossip." It was really nice to see old friends and get to say our goodbyes. The plan is to leave for Seattle on Thursday the 21st of this month. It has all happened so smoothly. And what an exciting time! Bob is doing so well with his work and he deserves all the praise he's received. His models have been implemented on the national level for his company. He's pretty darn bright. Now we are sitting down to make a plan for the move and de-complicate it as much as possible. I will keep an update going.

Who knew this could be so much fun?

2005-09-06T21:22:00.000-07:00

I am posting my first ever blog! Thanks to Craig Davis, I am now hooked. After reading three of his entries it made me realize there are so many experiences that I would love to write down! I can't wait to get into this. Craig, way to go, closet man!