The Haps

Crazy people live in Seattle too

I may have assumed that Seattle was completely different from Salt Lake City. I was wrong. They have crazy people here too. Actually, from the responses of friends, it appears there may be more in Seattle than most places.

For Example. I was running to the drug store the other day to purchase some batteries, s video cables, a frappacino and some deodorant. I was waiting in line with my items and the lady in front of me turned a full 180 degrees and started looking at my items. She said, "oooh, let me take a look at your goodies!" while she touched my items.

She was harmless enough, I thought. The line moved forward, she turned around and I went back to my 'normality' of pretending that said experience just didn't happen.

About ten seconds later she had turned back around, looked me straight in the eye and asked my opinion of some necklaces for sale in the checkout line. She said she couldn't decide which were prettier. The jack-o-lantern necklaces or the faux diamond bracelets. She asked for my opinion. Ok, this lady was nuts. The necklaces were atrocious. Even though she had junk in her hair from the can she had been sleeping in the night before, my good nature would not allow her to make such a fashion no-no in my presence. I said, "I would go with the bracelets, they are prettier, but not by much. Actually, I'd choose neither."

She took a step back (Thank God- I was about to get dirty just standing so close) and then she actually shook like a chill had run throughout her body. I figured this was the spirit of good fashion sense and returned to my 'normality,' pretending none of this had happened.

I was rudely reminded that it was not over as I put my items down to purchase. She felt so close to me after my helpful advice that it was her desire to monitor each item as it was scanned, bagged and money exchanged. I was feeling uneasy and muttered, "nice meeting you...gotta go out there now." How lame. The craziness had somehow become airborne and I caught it.

'Out there' could have been anything...a shower, a box on the corner, an institution. I didn't know. Fortunately I came to my senses, drank my purchased frappaciono and realized I was in Seattle and safe. If it weren't for that Frappacino I may not have made it out alive.

posted by Spence-a-lick @ 12:01 PM