How many lesbians does it take to get me to party like I'm Prince? One.
Can we say Kris Duffield? She had made a trip up for my honey's Northwest Manager's meeting and chose to stay for the weekend. It's Sunday night, and I think I have just begun the road to recovery. We were out so much this weekend it was crazy. We learned so many new things about my hometown.
#1. There is only one lesbian bar in Seattle and it's called, "Wild Rose."
#2. If you think the bar named, "Thumpers" is a lesbian bar, you are mistaken. Just like I was.
#3. If you believe that a straight restaurant like the "Fox Sports Zone" serves stiffer drinks than the hip new joint "The Apartment" in Belletown, you wouldn't only be mistaken, but most definitely a moron.
And Finally,
#4. If you think someone calls you pretentious, you have to stand up for yourself. Even if that entails you being wrong, again.
Welcome to 1999 and thank you Kris!
Ears? Take Care of Them. Kids? How about a leash?
You know swimmer's ear? I hate that. It is one of the most frightening experiences. What if your ear gets clogged forever and no more hearing? Yikes.
What about not-so-fresh sushi? Yup, don't like that either.
How about seeing the same kids from the carting machine being "walked" around on leashes that wrap around their waists, six at a time? Priceless.
I saw the headquarters for this day care. It's right up the street from our apartment. I had a few errands to run and saw this class of toddlers walking outside with this type of apparatus. I can not believe that people find that acceptable! I tried to get a picture for you all, but unfortunately, was not able.
How to effortlessly transport 12 infant children
I was outside my apartment complex yesterday after running a few errands and I happened across one of the strangest sights I have ever seen. Please observe:
Now I don't know if I am appalled or simply wow-ed by the sensibility of the child crating carts. It's almost like eggs. You simply put as many in a Styrofoam container as you can and move them out. Here, we load up as many infant children as possible and ship them out to whatever location suits us.
"Any field trip ideas?" asks the teacher. "Downtown Seattle!" blurts the extremely vocal 2 year olds.
Hey, whatever works. As long as they don't take them to some boot camp or church office for confession right?
Crazy people live in Seattle too
I may have assumed that Seattle was completely different from Salt Lake City. I was wrong. They have crazy people here too. Actually, from the responses of friends, it appears there may be more in Seattle than most places.
For Example. I was running to the drug store the other day to purchase some batteries, s video cables, a frappacino and some deodorant. I was waiting in line with my items and the lady in front of me turned a full 180 degrees and started looking at my items. She said, "oooh, let me take a look at your goodies!" while she touched my items.
She was harmless enough, I thought. The line moved forward, she turned around and I went back to my 'normality' of pretending that said experience just didn't happen.
About ten seconds later she had turned back around, looked me straight in the eye and asked my opinion of some necklaces for sale in the checkout line. She said she couldn't decide which were prettier. The jack-o-lantern necklaces or the faux diamond bracelets. She asked for my opinion. Ok, this lady was nuts. The necklaces were atrocious. Even though she had junk in her hair from the can she had been sleeping in the night before, my good nature would not allow her to make such a fashion no-no in my presence. I said, "I would go with the bracelets, they are prettier, but not by much. Actually, I'd choose neither."
She took a step back (Thank God- I was about to get dirty just standing so close) and then she actually shook like a chill had run throughout her body. I figured this was the spirit of good fashion sense and returned to my 'normality,' pretending none of this had happened.
I was rudely reminded that it was not over as I put my items down to purchase. She felt so close to me after my helpful advice that it was her desire to monitor each item as it was scanned, bagged and money exchanged. I was feeling uneasy and muttered, "nice meeting you...gotta go out there now." How lame. The craziness had somehow become airborne and I caught it.
'Out there' could have been anything...a shower, a box on the corner, an institution. I didn't know. Fortunately I came to my senses, drank my purchased frappaciono and realized I was in Seattle and safe. If it weren't for that Frappacino I may not have made it out alive.
Job Hunting, Interviews and Creme Brulee Lattes
So, life has started to slow down. After Doug returned to Salt Lake I got on the phone and started my hunt for a job. I am proud to say that a lot of good has come from my efforts, with interviews, follow up interviews, etc... I am meeting with a potential employer for a second time this coming Monday. I feel pretty lucky to have the time that I do. I'll be honest, sometimes it's fun to do some searching or networking while I am sitting at the Seattle's Best on Post Alley right up from Pikes Market. The Creme Brulee Lattes are my seasonal beverage of choice.
Today marks three weeks in Seattle. Except of course for the weekend I had to fly back to Salt Lake to meet Bob and learn that our movers were delayed for the third straight time. I'll tell ya, yelling at movers helps, but unfortunately it doesn't get your stuff picked up any sooner. I never want to move again. Good luck with that, I know.
We have settled into a nice ritual that Bob and I like to call "dinner." I usually have the time to come up with something to eat when Bob gets back from work. The market is two blocks north and I pick up fresh veggies every other day. The sites and sounds of Seattle are soothing, even when I am unaware of where my next paycheck is coming from. I don't foresee a problem; I have convinced myself I will be working within a month. And considering the responses I've had, that seems more and more likely. Thank goodness for hard work and supportive companionship.
Speaking of hard work, martinis are a lot of fun. I realized this past weekend how much we both enjoy making them. So, I suppose if this whole Nursing Administration gig doesn't pan out, I could always work nights at the Split Olive.
"Done and Done." - Ben Dolezal
Chapter Eight.
We arrived in Seattle. Our eyes were wide open. The scenery was amazing, the skyline breathtaking. I was reunited with Bobby, who made plans to take us all to dinner at the fabulous
Wild Ginger. After a quick shower, an outfit change and a few snapshots we were off and up out! It was a fun night! The restaurants in downtown Seattle are top-notch and the dancing isn't all that bad either. For more on dancing, see Dougie Fresh's interpretation of our night out on the town
here. He is now a Seattle veteran and has always been a foremost expert in dancing at the club.
And that evening, as we returned to our new home, the journey westward ended. There are memories of laughter, some fright, and a whole lotta of adventure! Thanks to Doug for his help with everything, from furniture to hotel reservations. We certainly did not miss any points of interest worth seeing! And, I couldn't have left Salt Lake in a more memorable way.
And get that screaming baby away from my car!
Chapter Seven.In everyone's life there comes a time to get down to business. A time, when you need to just get things done and get somewhere. Doug and I reached this point on our final stretch of highway through Snoqualmie Pass. I don't think either of us could express how extremely beautiful the changing leaves of fall were. Flashes of orange, red and yellow mixed with the ever-long vastness of the green fir trees. Magnificent.
Slightly less magnificent was the final potty stop and snack pick up. Doug and I both decided we'd take one last pit stop before coming down the pass and pulling into the city of Seattle. Little did I know that as I left the mini-mart, a two year old child with ice cream would be fussing about, crying and shouting at his parents. This ice cream was not going to bother me. I mean hell, we'd killed so many a bug by driving at freeway speeds, a little mess on the door would be easy to wash off. But I'll be damned if those hick-a-billy parents of his did not swing the 7 foot door from their 1963 Impala wide open, nearly scratching and poking my newly purchased Audi! As Doug held me back from attacking the greasy-tank-topped-tubby, I shouted, "watch what you're doing...and get that screaming baby away from my car!"
Now that, ladies and gentleman, is getting things done!
Ho Ho Hogue...I'm sorry officer!
Chapter Six.We made it out of Union and into Washington that morning. We had a few hiccups on the way (rental furniture, etc...) but I didn't let that get to me...did I Doug? Dougie Fresh was napping in the passenger seat after we crossed into Washington state. I noticed an emblem that looked familiar as we were driving. I changed lanes and realized it was actually an emblem for one of the wineries that a good friend of mine had introduced me to a year ago.
I veered onto the off ramp, Doug woke up and we got schooled in the art of wine making. Hooray for Reisling. Well, we had a great time. An exciting time even. But not as "exciting" as when I was pulled over by my first ever Washington State Highway Patrol Man. Let me just say one thing. Quickly retrieving your license and registration, even before the officer arrives, only helps. Wink Wink!
A note - intermission, if you will...
Just a note. I feel a little bad that I haven't given updates on "The Haps" here in Seattle and I've lived here two weeks now. But let me just say...after a long day of dealing with movers, sending off resumes, talking with potential employers and such, it is nice to be at home, make some excellent nachos and sit down to an episode of Desperate Housewives. Thank you. We will now continue with our original programming featuring Doug Birch.
Staying The Night - The Hotel part 2
Chapter Five.We drove into the town of Union, Oregon at approximately 8pm. We were an hour ahead of schedule (that darn time zone change). We got out of the car and saw this...
...at night! Not just a little spooky, but creepy. They even had 6 R.V. hookups behind the mansion! Now that's crazy!
We decided to walk up and just get it over with. It turned into a scene out of Haunted Mansion. Large Entry way with original 1920 tile work, a parlor, and the scent of cookies! I somehow convinced Doug this would be alright. However, we ended up sleeping in these beds with picket fences as headboards, flies falling on Doug in the shower, and two ghosts that shared some wine and their sense of adventure with us. These "ghosts" will be explained shortly.
They wanted to go exploring. I was up for it and Doug reluctantly gave in. They took us to the third floor of the mansion, which was never finished during the remodel. We saw two doors that were steel construction and had a single circular window. These doors also had a contraption that looked very medieval. We concluded these doors where a psych ward or punishment chamber of sorts. Ok, ghost people, a Hannibal lector chamber and bad wine...needless to say, neither of us slept well that night. But the crazy part of the story just begins.
We bolted out of town and realized I had left my wallet in the room. Thankfully we hadn't gotten very far, we turned back into the town of Union. As we approached the first street, Doug noticed it was named "Ash." The second, "Birch" and the third, sure enough, "Chestnut." As we got to the Union Hotel, we learned it resided on the corner of Main Street and "Elm" Street. We are convinced to this day we slept the night in a ghost town near central Oregon that just so happens to have the same street names as my grandparents cemetery. Coincidence or paranormal?
Staying The Night - The Hotel part 1
Chapter Four.Ok. So we were cruising along from Baker City trying to make our way to Le Grande, Oregon. We had heard of a bed and breakfast there that would have comfortable beds and a great breakfast. We called a little too late. They were booked. Dougie Fresh was on the phone with them asking for a comparable hotel that they thought we would consider "fabulous." They eagerly suggested the Union Hotel, fifteen minutes out of Le Grande. We phoned them up. They discussed with Doug the options and the Garden room sounded just right. Two queen size beds and charming decor. Should we have been concerned when they mentioned they may not be at the office when we arrived, and would simply leave a key for us in an envelope? We didn't question and put the address in the Navigation System and headed off for Union.
The navigation system took us off the main highway and into a dark road with no lights whatsoever. We were in coyote country I could tell. Fortunately the road was paved, but still, with no lights and coyotes atop the rolling hills, it just felt a little off. We almost turned around and stuck it out at the Motel 6 off the freeway. But no, we were determined to find this diamond in the rough and headed onward.
